I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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