I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
