So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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