But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
