We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
