Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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