Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
