can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
