i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
