So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
