Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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