One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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