Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
