I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
