these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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