I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
he fucked my hip out of place.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
