the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Your penis caused this!
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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