I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
