He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
