My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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