can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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