So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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