at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
