so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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