worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
