I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
