After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
