Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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