in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
