took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
