omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize