living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
