Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i will never coherently bang her
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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