Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Found your dick twin last night
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
