What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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