So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
