Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
