thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
one two three fourrrrnication!
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
