Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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