I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
should my penis look like a turkey
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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