Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
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