Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize