I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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