There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
