The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
