somebody snuck up and got me drunk
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
