the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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