this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
