Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
