Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize